Designing for the Sexes: His and Her Design

Anyone remember one of the early HGTV shows, Designing for the Sexes (DFTS), or am I aging myself? Every week audiences were riveted by the design dilemmas of couples who had wildly different decorating tastes. You’d think they’d picked the most mismatched styles on purpose. One — usually male — likes simple, modern furniture with clean lines while the other — usually female — invariably liked antiques or rustic furniture.

Differing decorating tastes are often a source of conflict with your significant other when trying to redecorate a space. In fact, some couples have such a hard time deciding on a style they both like that they give up redecorating altogether. Or as we say in my house, “It’s on pause.”

And since, according to industry experts, approximately 90% of furniture buying decisions are made, or heavily influenced, by women, you can imagine that there are a lot of rooms filled with rustic furniture and one, lone, geometric-shaped lamp as a nod to the (probably) male’s taste.

There’s no rule that says you have to stick to just one style. In fact, there’s an entire style based on not sticking to one style. It’s called eclectic. You can easily mix his mid-century modern coffee table with her floral traditional chair. You just have to do it the right way.

Here are some tips to help you reach that happy place (where no one gets maimed) when planning an interior space that reflects you both.

Be Prepared to Compromise

This is probably the most important part of the process, before you even choose your favorite style. Without this, it’s going to be a long and arduous process. You could get lucky, and as you go about reorganizing and redecorating your space, everything just falls into place. But, in what world does that really happen? Not the one I am in. Instead, there is usually some compromise that needs to happen.

When you’re in the compromise mindset, keep in mind that each person’s perspective is equally important. You’ll save yourself some trouble farther down the line. Sometimes, you’ll both see something and fall in love immediately. Bells will ring and there will be happiness throughout the land.

If only that happened every time. Most likely you’ll find yourself in a “serious discussion” about where the coffee table should go, what type it should be, or if you even need a coffee table. No need to go to war over it. Just make sure you communicate and compromise. He gets the coffee table he wants or no coffee table if that’s his preference, and you get to paint the room that lovely light green you fell in love with.

Plan ahead for Success

Take a look at what you already own and determine what you want to keep and what you are willing to part with. You may be tired of the old furniture, he may love it. Choose a few pieces to keep, the ones that you really like, really need, and are still functional. Make sure you each have something you love in the space.

For example, if you both like the black TV stand and coffee table, keep them. Then add some lighter pieces, such as a light gray sofa. That way, both of your styles will start to blend and you’ll be off to a good start. Pull everything together with area rugs and throw pillows. (Okay, you may have to have a conversation about the importance of throw pillows, but stick to your guns on this one.)

Use Color Mindfully

One of the best ways to show both of your personalities in a space is by using color. But, if you are not careful, you may end up with colors that just don’t go together. Neither of you will be happy with a room that looks like a carnival.

Use neutral colors such as black, brown, gray, or white on the bigger pieces of furniture and liven the space up with blankets, table runners, throw pillows (see what I mean), and rugs. Use a color wheel to find colors that go well together. The color wheel is your friend when you are choosing colors. You might even find colors you didn’t realize looked good together.

Go Furniture Shopping Together

Shop for everything you can together and listen to each other’s likes and dislikes. A key part of DFTS was the shopping trip. The couple and the host would wander through home décor stores. Invariably, the couple would end up at different ends of the spectrum. The host would lead them through a process of elimination until they had decided on something they both could live with.

Although a formula, it worked. One item was too much him, the other too much her. By discussing what they liked and disliked about it, they could find the one that they both liked. Of course, in the real world, you may not be able to do this in the space of a 30-minute TV show. But getting to the heart of what you both want will help you choose the perfect piece for both of you.

Have a Good Time (Yes, You Can!)

If the thought of redecorating your home makes you clench, relax. This is an exciting time, so make sure you have fun with it. So what if you end up sleeping on your new couch, as long as it is the couch you wanted.

Learn more and read Baer’s Furniture reviews. Get furniture shopping tips from a Baer’s Furniture exec.